I figure that no one reads this anyways so it's perfectly fine to essentially write a journal entry because I'm too lazy to go upstairs to get mine and be legit and everything. So here's what been on my mind for the past year.
But first of all, I'm not sure why I didn't keep posting things on this blog! I really loved doing it last summer, I guess I just got busy. I think I'm going to start it up again because, hey, I have nothing better to do.
And more on that note.... So I decided to come home for the summer {serious shocker} because I felt like I needed a break from Rexburg and all it's pressures and memories. I have come to realize that I have a phobia of memories. Maybe it is something real, hold on let me google it....
Okay so basically there is one called Mnemophobia and it is for those who are afraid of having memories and is usually associated with people with Alzheimers... perfect. But there is something that is just called "phobia of memories" and symptoms are trying to avoid thinking about memories and a sense of anxiety with memories... I think I have that. WEIRD. And I could try to explain why but I have no idea! I just don't like remembering things good or bad. Like for instance, EFY is the best thing ever but I don't like listening to the CD's anymore because I don't like thinking about those times. I don't drive certain places because people used to live there. And I didn't like being in Rexburg because there are memories all over the place. I'm insane I swear. Oh, and completely irrational.
Anyways, I just decided to come back, work and save up for something amazing when I gradate- NEW ZEALAND. But two weeks after coming home I felt like I shouldn't go, that I should buy a car and plan something else for after graduation. Bummer. As days passed I wanted a car more and more and I was going to save to buy a pretty expensive one but as soon as I find a cheap but still good and cute and not crappy one I am buying it! So I have just about two more weeks before I can start seriously looking :) And I'm really excited about that! Anyways... back to my sulking.
Being home is hard. Really hard. I have to share a room with my older sister because she is living home (and of course the two other rooms in the house are completely unavailable... ?!) too, my parents don't know the password to their internet so I can't use my own laptop or the internet on my phone (hence I'm on my mom's computer), we are sharing one car for four people with different work schedules so I can't drive myself to work let alone go anywhere when I just need to get out, my parents eat food that I don't even touch at school so it's messing with my "diet" and making me fat [haha], and to top it off: I don't even have a house key of my own. Is it just me or does that sound terrible? It sounds terrible. It is terrible. I can't even come and go without knocking on the door and relying on someone else to let me in. After three years of being entirely on my own this is like being five again. I'm not a kid anymore!! I've been in a really crabby mood for the past few weeks because this place is killing me! Not to mention that I don't even like Needham anyways, trust me 15 years of living here counted for more like 17,873,221 years.
Anyways, I could go on and on because I have a lot more on my mind (like the fact that I have like 2 friends here and never even see them and don't get to talk to my friends who are having loads of fun in Rexburg very often) but I'm too sick of thinking about it anymore, haha. And I don't even know why I'm going to post this but what the heck, no one is even gonna read it anyways!!
Moving home was a bad idea.
